Jedi Bible: Rev. 1a

Ohrmazd Zmaster= creator of Zone
Saoshyant Astvat-eretawodz=world saviour/1st messiah of the jedi
This is only draft 1a

Zone-1:all ye shall know of the lore legend of lost Jedi, thus and fro beith of zone within, 1997, the year of our lord, the creator in heaven and earth, forever until the days of darkness, ye whom is greater than thou holy spirit and thou holy haoma libations. (1:1) the creator Ohrmazd Zmaster betook the internet and revered the conception of Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II and unto thus he who is Ohrmazd, placed within the sanctity of zone.com to be prostrated upon by froth and foe. (1:2) the creator Ohrmazd Zmaster, just, created man and wo-man and zone.com was their vassal for enlightenment and righteousness (1:3) within this, he who is just, created user lobbies, and they were as thus: Nar Shaddaa, Bespin, Canyon Oasis, Ladder Room, Trial Room, and those who were once without lobbies, were now with lobby and were apoplectic for which lobby the man and wo-man should play within (1:4) many players who were once without skill, upon miracle, became with skill and thus they were elite and gave libations to the creator Ohrmazd Zmaster for his grace and glory (1:5) clans and guilds ascended and descended perennial heights, for they who were with skill, defeated they who were without, and thus clan competition was unfurled. (1:6) it was the clan KRT that rose to a favorable plateau and thus had defeated all who opposed their clan in formidable battle, they who are without defeat, proclaim their affliction to Zmaster Ahura, just and favorable to their efforts of nobility and ownage, they who are without defeat thus were without want and therefore disbanded in aprilus, twenty-three, 1998, in they year of our lord Ohrmazd Zmaster. (1:7) it was so that Cases Ladder was then there established for newbies and skilled players alike until it was hacked in 1999,the year of our lord (1:8) and thus CWT tournaments was then there established for skilled players and clans of man and wo-man alike, creating many a legendary battle of lore. it was the guild IRN that dominated thy CWT within the century of twenty, for no other did as so as they who were praised as Iron Knights. (1:9)

Zone-2: many a newb cometh to thy game of skilled man and thy man said unto thy newb "hearth thou Jedi newb who enter and ye shall receive thy boot" and was thus then booted for their newbieish. (2:1) in 1999, the year of our lord! it was the force full man Jeb who thus rape chated thy entire zone with entered text, and unto thy lobbies he plagued their screens until muted (2:2) and from this rape of chat came swarms of sysops from the sea, who among them was go2 of mplus, he who muted thy lobby a many of times without care, and it was when go2 muted zone, that zone then stfu until he who is without choice did stfu and thus was owned (2:3) within 2003,the year of our lord, Ohrmazmaster, the newbie sysop John Chaser plagued homosexuality with due course and tormented the civilization of Jedi, and he who is gay, was mocked by the community and unto them chaser placed a ban of lifetime proportions, and all was gayd (2:4) followers of the faith were wont for hope and guidance from the true god, and the Jedi KeWL_JCS said thus to god "i call out to you, great god, to protect me from the sithlords who lurk dangerously close to my anus, and ask that you, great god of reason, keep me protected through the nights with my divine nightlight of hope to you great god i ask this prayer, for i am but your servant, a text typer of woe". and the Saoshyant Astvat-eretawodz, prayed unto thy god and said "great god who are thee, i ask thou to type thy text and proclaim thy divinity for you are a wise and caring god, for a god such as yourself cannot toggle thy hacks, and cannot be of warping speeds with thy mouse, for you, my god, are the holiest of holy gods who is to type thy text." (2:5) and thus the martyr KeWL looked upon the text of the god and was owned, for the one god had typed the text that KeWL had read, and KeWL spoke out to the great god and stated "oh great god are thee, how I honor thy name and blessed are thou who in heaven are great and on earth shall protect me from disease and retribution to my fellow Jedi" (2:6) and BlurajA spoke out to the one god and asked thus; "why, great god that I seek, am I, BlurajA of Dardanelles, not within the scriptures of your holy divinity?"; and thus, the prophet Wodz made a proclamation to the request of the man BlurajA of Dardanelles and said unto him "thou are not experienced in thy ways of my text, for it is within yourself that you must seek in order to establish newbinism; and when said is found, i shall grant you this that you seek" (2:7) and thus zone.com announced that it shall remove JK in the year of our lord,2004, and thus the god smote the fallen Jedi knight community with a swift blow, and thus removed zone, and the calamity was felt within IRC, for it was the home of the followers of text (2:8)

IRC-1:the great revolution was upon Severen and no Jedi shed lamentations when his dynastic rule fell, for he had sinned, and for his sin the god took away his users (and *****) (1:1) and the mighty DSbr challenged the proletariat VDS to a clan battle, and VDS proclaimed "thou ownith us, we forfeit"; and with this proclamation to god, the holy DSbr extended their undefeated streak and presented libations for the one god" (1:2) and suddenly without warning the newbies were raped; for it was Phelan who had slain their virgin text (1:3)

Saviours-1:whoa is me, for i am the immaculate text that is entered by the keyboard of god (1:1) the lord of text said unto his followers, smfd and forever you shall be of pwnage (1:2) behold, i am the prophet Wodz, speaker for the Jedi, appointed by the republic, typer of text. Believe in what I say, for it is typed, by the text of god. yay, look upon me, and know me, for i am the beginning and the end of JK (1:3)

Cheaters-1:and the mighty god smote nemesis for his Jedi sins and removed his cogs forever more (1:1) the great god smote NATO for his wicked cogs and inflicted bird flu upon him (1:2) for his grand ego and sudden godliness in the art of gunning, the great god delivered unto NegS the gift of a coke addiction (1:3) then Alchemist, who had sinned against the Jedi’s with his wicked cogs, was stripped of his CWT medals and forever shamed (1:4)

Asians-1: and the lord proclaimed that KeWL was fit to rule over the lands of Israel, and as a reward fixed KeWLs eyes (1:1) and it was Shinji, the Jap that wielded his Jedi skills to the world by using his seeing-eye dog to play Jedi knight (1:2) it was the transsexual jedi named Klavier that inflicted the wrath of the great god. "ye shall not attempt to molest the lord, for the lord is not keen towards your homosexual advances" and the lord, who is great, turned Klavier Korean and slanted his eyes until the end of days for his wicked homosexuality (1:3) and he who is AeRoN albeit made an attempt to play in the jedi games, he himself could not, for he was Korean, and was blind (1:4) it was during the ancient times of Jedi lore that Allard_Liao was banished from the realm of JCS, for he had failed their eye exam (1:5) the council of IRN had appointed Mist as their "homework deputy"; for his eye slants, albeit tiny, overwhelmed their jedi urges for school marks (1:6) it was the great Edoras, co-founder of JCS, Jedi master of Singapore, who attempted to bribe the lord with red envelopes, and the lord said unto Edoras, "thou who aren’t without proper vision shall never again get laid, for your bribe is sinful and only $10" (1:7) the great rich ninja Frosty was then choked by a peasant and his Supra and Skyline GT were stolen by Traids; and the great lord, who is good, said unto him "ye who cannot stop lying shall be prostrated and deported to Thailand" (1:8) the lord proclaimed that NeO, for his sinful e-death shall suffer the wrath of 100 plagues, and the pox of SARS was delivered unto his family (1:9)